Best of 2016 Playlist

September 13, 2015

Top 10 Fangirl Frontmen / Bands


Some bands spend months writing albums and touring. Then there are bands that can so much as sneeze and sell out stadiums. Today, we're counting down our picks for bands whose careers have largely been built upon fangirls. The bands featured here are not necessarily bad, we'll let you be the judge of that. And fangirls aren't necessarily bad either, but they can be very influential on a band's success, without knowing the first thing about quality or substance. Click this (link) for more top 10 lists. 

If you think we missed a band, or want to get butthurt then feel free to leave a comment! Or contact us at platypusreviews1486@gmail.com, whatever works. Again, bring on the butthurt! 




10. Memphis May Fire (Matty Mullins) / Of Mice and Men (Austin Carlile)
These two metalcore heavy weights have tied for our first spot on this top 10. They do have a lot in common. Both Rise Records signees, both metalcore bands who, as of late, have transitioned away from their heavier styles to a fusion of mainstream rock and metal, and nu metal respectively. Though they aren't known for having crazy fangirls, they do have them. Matty's sweet voice, and Austin's edgy screams can make girls' ovaries burst. Imagine what would happen if they teamed up for a song. Oh those poor ovaries. And we have to give Austin props for being such an amazing frontman while undergoing surgeries while still on tour. Dedicated doesn't even begin to describe this man. 

9. My Chemical Romance (Gerard Way)

The only thing worse than waiting for a new album, is hearing that your favorite band is breaking. For fans of MCR, that's exactly what happened. After releasing a string of singles in 2012, the band announced in March 2013 that they would be disbanding. And let's face it, fangirls everywhere are still holding onto the hope that the band will reunite. Sorry ladies, but this band is officially history. Gerard Way was the main driving force behind they band's success. His lyrics captured the hearts of awkward, social outcasts with a thing for dark, angsty frontmen. The controversy surrounding the band's "emo" sound and Gerard's captivating frontman persona will forever be their legacy, not their actual music (though personally I've never been much of a fan). 

8. All Time Low (Alex Gaskarth/Jack Barakat)  

I'm with stupid
Previously featured on our "Dynamic Duos in Music" list, Jalex have once again worked their way onto another Top 10. If you were to tell me that Alex's frontman status wasn't one of the reasons ATL is so successful, I'd have to slap you across the face. Fangirls love this band, and they love the Jalex duo even more. Similar to Mark and Tom, this pop punk pair have written some of the best summer tunes, and killer hooks. The main difference between ATL and blink is that, for some reason, Jack and Alex have sex appeal to adolescent girls. And of course there's the band's collab with Vic Fuentes, that made a shit ton of adolescent ovaries explode. 

7. Falling in Reverse (Ronnie Radke)
Ignoring all the shit that surrounds this frontman, FIR would be nothing without Radke at the helm. A word of caution, there are some FIR fangirls who will eat you alive if you so much as mention that you're not a fan in the comments section (I know not all fans are like that, it just shocks me how insane some of them are). An even bigger shocker is how successful the band is, despite releasing mediocre album after mediocre album. FIR's latest album, "Just Like You" being the best of 3, it's still somewhat lack luster and doesn't provide the listener with anything particularly new or interesting. The band has quite the following, and continues to headline shows (where 80% of the patrons are fangirls)

6. Pierce the Veil (Vic Fuentes) 

The only thing more appealing to fangirls than Vic Fuentes' voice, is the bro-mance he has with Kellin Quinn (whose band Sleeping with Sirens is also on this list). It's amazing how many fan-fictions there are online about the duo. "King for a Day" brought the band their first, and so far only, certified Gold single, and helped the band's ensuing album reach the tops of various charts. And while this is one of the better bands on the list, there are still a ridiculous amount fangirls who only hang around for Vic, and or Kellic. 

5. Bring Me The Horizon (Oli Sykes) 
"Zero fucks to give"
For the true, and sane fans, the only thing worse than BMTH haters are Oli-fangirls. I've been to BMTH concerts where girls pay for front row seats, and just ogle Oli the entire time. That's creepy, and a waste of a good seat. The band at one time was known more for their "scene look" than their innovative musical styles. And that's what girls fell for. The hot, hardcore frontman who also co-owns a clothing line, "Drop Dead". Tattoos galore, straightened hair, and lyrics that would make any parent gasp in horror, Oli is the bad boy you bring home to scare the shit out of your parents. Though a bit more tame, and a lot less angry today, he's still the object of affection for girls everywhere. Sadly for them, he was recently taken off the market. 

4. Blood on the Dance Floor  

Easily the worst band on this list, you wouldn't believe the amount of fangirls this electronic nightmare of a band has. I don't want to spend too much talking about these guys, the don't deserve the free publicity. Long story short, this is a batshit insane electronic band that mostly writes songs about sex and has a large following of "scene girls". Seriously, listen to one of their songs and tell me it doesn't completely suck. And for some reason there are thousands of girls who love Dahvie and his less than favorable ways. If you don't already know, then go online and read some of the stories concert-goers have posted online about him. Some true, some false, but all of the same opinion. The dude is gross. 

3. 5 Seconds of Summer  
A good number of teens were already obsessed with these Aussies before 1D mentioned them. First Youtube celebrities, then international stars, 5SOS slid into mainstream music following the release of their debut single, "She Looks So Perfect" in June 2014. And since then they've coasted ever since then. With little originality, and songs with over five writers, if this band hadn't ad that nice little bit of advertisement from 1D, they'd probably be another flop pop rock band. Their "good looks" don't hurt their success, but it certainly doesn't help their credibility. They're All Time Low wannabes, with Michael in particular trying way too hard to be Jack. I'm sure they're all really nice guys, but their appeal to teens gets them further than they should be getting. 

2. Sleeping with Sirens (Kellin Quinn)  
"Derp"
Having boyish looks and the voice of an angel, it's little wonder why Kellin Quinn is the heartthrob of the "alternative" music world. His singing ability is only trumped by the amount of girls he can bring to a concert. Should the band be renamed Kellin and the Quinns. We're willing to bet that most fangirls don't know the names of the rest of the band, or what instruments they play. The band is talented, but their talent is wasted on pleasing fangirls, and trying to break into mainstream music. They put far too much emphasis on Kellin, and little on their actual music these days. Not a year goes by that Kellin isn't gracing the cover of some magazine, while the other members are no where to be seen. Sad, since in the beginning the band wasn't all about Kellin. Quinn over quality? 

1. Black Veil Brides (Andy, mother-freaking Biersack) 
"Who ate my cookie?"
There's not much to say here. BVB is the epitome of a fangirl band. Originally a melodic metalcore band, the band went full on glam metal for their 2nd album, "Set the World on Fire". So how did they rise to the top? Three words, Andy fucking Biersack. His looks and bad boy persona have captured the hearts of millions of adolescent girls everywhere. Looks are apparently everything. We have to admit, despite all the hate from critics, Andy does have a pretty killer voice, and the instrumentals don't always suck. It's just that every song feels like a repeat of something that's already been done. No creativity, just the same boring hard rock, glam metal crap we saw in the 80s.